Tag Archives: lyrics

Why Saturday Night Live, Sucks.

kyle mooney

So, I recently watched this documentary about Jim Carrey when he was doing the movie about Andy Kaufman.  It answered some questions for me.  Unfortunately, for me, I was raised Jehovah’s Witness but since I can remember I loved Saturday Night Live and Comedy.  The current cast of SNL is the least funny that I have ever seen but eclipsing them in unfunny-ness is Kyle Mooney who is never funny even accidentally.  Because SNL won’t let me forget about him I wondered to myself, “Why is this queer even on SNL?” 

Apparently, he masquerades as a comedy writer.  I scrolled through his Wikipedia page and I am proud to announce that nothing he has been apart of has ever remotely caught my interest.  He reminds me of this college educated douche I met in southern California when I decided to get back into stand-up comedy because the comedians had suddenly started to suck.  I can’t remember his name but the guy was a millennial.  Because I had the crowd chanting my name in the best amateur room (which he ran) he decided to turn all of the other comedians against me and have them troll me the rest of the night.

The first rule of Stand up is “NO INSIDE JOKES”, but Kyle Mooney is a social climbing, power brokering, inside joke.  I suspect that Lorne Michaels made a STUPID move thinking that Millennials were somehow different from Rational human beings and that he was going to ride this wave.  He needed his own Geheime Staatspolizei in order to show him how to change his brand and audience in order to create a safe space for Millennial pussies.

When Kyle isn’t appearing in unfunny skits that appear to be lecturing to me on some level (as if I was back in the Kingdom Hall) he is appearing in skits that make him look like the closeted good guy, or other skits in which he appears to be intentionally unfunny but also pathetic.  As a comedian, I understand and appreciate Andy Kaufman’s art.  I was born September 8th in the sign of the Enigma or “Puzzling Purist”.  A sign which I share with Peter Sellers and other people like myself whom I also understand.  I understand Kyle Mooney and I don’t like him.  I don’t hate him.  I hate what he is trying to do.  I am EXTREMELY disappointed with Lorne Michaels who has demonstrated so much good taste over the years.  Kyle is manipulative.  He is closeted.  He isn’t a comedian.  Lorne, should be smarter than this.  He has more than enough experience.

Pete Davidson is one of your best comedians.  I laugh at all of his 5hit.  I know when someone is telling the truth falsely.   I saw that skit where he was talking about being depressed and addicted to drugs.  I know that you, as an employer, because he is in rehab, can’t fire him.  At what point, Lorne Michaels, did your instincts turn sour?  I look at your face and you don’t leak any emotion.  I was surprised at that skit in which you were punching the guy from Weekend Update in the face.  That did leak some emotion because it was uncharacteristic.  I know that you control your emotions.  I know that you feel genuine emotions.  I know that you felt a lot of pain when John Belushi, Gilda Radner, and Chris Farley died.  That probably created a refractory state for you in which you are trying to avoid that experience, but you are doing it all wrong…

“What loss is death if life is not to be lived?”  ~R. A. Salvatore

“Its better to burn out than fade away.”

~Kurt Cobain 

 

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Boycott Sesame Street

katy perry

We aren’t stupid.  We know that you are trying to steal our children away from us.  We know that you are attempting to destroy the American Family Unit.  We have felt it.  We have experienced it. 

Oh, yeah, & another thing, I know where you got the inspiration of calling them “Dreamers”.  It was from the Muppet Movie.  That song called, “The Rainbow Connection”.

It is a secret homage to Satan Worship, pedophilia, and child trafficking. So, who are the “Lovers”???  

Rainbow Connection

Why are there so many songs about rainbows
And what’s on the other side
Rainbows are visions
But only illusions
And rainbows have nothing to hide

(they are talking about gay pedophile sex)

So we’ve been told
And some choose to believe it
I know they’re wrong, wait and see
Some day we’ll find it
The rainbow connection
The lovers, the dreamers, and me

Who said that every wish
Would be heard and answered
When wished on the morning star (Lucifer is the Morning Star)
Somebody thought of that
And someone believed it
And look what it’s done so far

What’s so amazing
That keeps us stargazing
And what do we think we might see
Someday we’ll find it
The rainbow connection
The lovers, the dreamers, and me

All of us under its spell, we know that it’s probably magic

Have you been half asleep?
And have you heard voices?
I’ve heard them calling my name

(Rhetorical Tautologies of Insanity)
Is this the sweet sound
That called the young sailors?
The voice might be one in the same

I’ve heard it too many times to ignore it
It’s something that I’m supposed to be
Someday we’ll find it
The rainbow connection
The lovers, the dreamers and me

La da da di da da dum da duh da da dum di da ohhh

Songwriters: PAUL WILLIAMS