This is a form of emotional abuse that I have seen parents, psychopaths, Dawkinites, and groups of people use. It is usually reified by more than one person working together. It is not treating a person based on what they have earned or are. It means relating to the person strategically to communicate to them that they are something they aren’t, like a monster or a freak. I know from personal experience that this can lead to dysmorphic disorders where a person doesn’t see themselves as they are. Which is not to say that all dysmorphia is caused by emotional abuse but could be caused by emotional abuse. For example anorexia, and bigorexia, and facial dysmorphia. In Michael Jackson’s case his facial dysmorphia was caused by being ridiculed by his father about his acne and perhaps other things about his face as a way of making him feel less valuable and gaining leverage in the relationship. It was a way of decreasing his self esteem for the purpose of forcing his compliance.
My parents thought I was arrogant, not because I was bad at stuff but because I was good at everything. So my parents withheld praise from me strategically so that I wouldn’t get big headed, which presupposed that I would get big headed if they praised me for things I did well. What it did instead was destroy my self esteem and cause me to have a complex where I was constantly competing with myself, trying to be the best at what I was good at in order to be appreciated or even acknowledged, the funny thing was that once I got into the world I got more of the same reaction from people in general which deepened my complex.
My father once told me, “you do everything well, everything is easy for you, we didn’t want your sister to feel bad.” Now this is the interesting part, my parents ignored, neglected, and sabotaged me, while investing in my sister who failed at everything. Instead of rewarding success and the behaviors they wanted to see more of, they rewarded failure, and coddled her issues. She realized that she was being rewarded for failing so she had no incentive to succeed. Furthermore, she despised me and was manipulating my parents to attack me in a way, out of sensitivity for her feelings of inadequacy, instead of encouraging her to become a person that she liked and respected.
I never felt successful, or talented, or good looking around my family, or really around anybody anymore. People still try to manipulate my self image in order to control me, or manipulate me, which is why I have become hyper vigilant with my relationships, I like to keep people distant, unemotional, and rational.
To this day people try to act unimpressed with my philosophy or they try to bullshit me and act like they are as smart or smarter than me, I was recently accused of plagiarizing myself and not being smart enough to understand myself. Now, in a way, I feed off negative attention, terrifying people by proving to them that I am as good as I think I am and that I don’t overestimate myself, which instead of making people like me makes them like me even less, furthering my issues, because I want an honest reaction from the beginning and if I detect any strategery, it stimulates my refractory state and I become sadistic.
Body dysmorphic disorder
Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD, also known as body dysmorphia, dysmorphic syndrome; originallydysmorphophobia) is a chronic mental illness, wherein the afflicted individual is concerned with body image, manifested as excessive concern about and preoccupation with a perceived defect of their physical appearance. An individual with BDD has perpetual negative thoughts about their appearance; in the majority of cases, an individual suffering from BDD is obsessed with a minor or imagined flaw. Afflicted individuals think they have a defect in either one or several features of their body, which causes psychological and clinically significant distress or impairs occupational or social functioning. BDD often co-occurs with depression, anxiety, social withdrawal, and social isolation.
The causes of body dysmorphic disorder vary for each person, but are usually a combination of biological, psychological, and environmental factors. It may occur in children and adults. The symptoms of body dysmorphia may include feelings of depression, social phobia, and obsessive compulsive behaviors.
BDD is linked to a diminished quality of life, can be co-morbid with major depressive disorder and social phobia (chronic social anxiety) and can be associated with suicidal ideation. BDD can be treated with either psychotherapy or psychiatric medication. Although originally a mental-illness diagnosis usually applied to women, body dysmorphic disorder also occurs equally in men. Approximately one percent of adults meet the diagnostic criteria for body dysmorphic disorder.