How to be an office Deuchebag.


Ignore the fact that the person has an excellent reputation with the company and that they have performed at an outstanding level for the past 11 years.  Ignore the fact that the economy is tanking and that sales are off the chart.  Ignore the fact that your team member is breaking records.  Ignore the fact that you will never be able to replace him.  Ignore the fact that no human being could do everything perfectly given the lack of time, the volume of movement, and the physical demands of the job. 

Remember that you have one single iota of power, a slight promotion over him.  Remember that you don’t have to be part of the solution all you have to do is criticize, you don’t have to be part of the solution if you can’t be directly blamed for the problem and if all you do is delegate than you can’t be blamed for anything.  If you can find a single thing wrong focus on that, especially if he is on his break.  Keep on putting responsibility on him.  “There is a price tag missing, a customer wants to know how much the item costs, what are we going to do about that?”

Well you could walk your ass over to a register and do a price check, but god forbid you use your own resources to be part of the solution, that’s not your job, pointing out problems is your job.  You are a problem pointer outer.  Oh, don’t forget to scream with your face, to let everybody know that you are making an insincere implicature.  


3 thoughts on “How to be an office Deuchebag.”

    1. good for you. It is interesting to note however, that psychopaths by their very nature are two faced. They show a face of submission and humility to people that are in positions of authority to themselves.

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