Come with me as we take a journey through the mind of a complete, forking, psychopath. Notice the cat by your leg, it is actually a tiger. I stab you with a knife but I call the knife a hot dog so its ok. Rain falls up here, and the cause is the effect. Time moves backwards, and sideways and if you are lucky sometimes it twerks.
This is from an actual conversation I had with LLL:
“Are you trying to tell me you think I hate your dog? I PUT UP WITH BEING CALLED A DOG HATER FOR A YEAR!”
Now I will show you how I “deconstruct the narrative” to find out who is speaking and how what they are saying has value and as we do so let us return to the conversation. At this time I have gotten so consistent at using my theories that I am basically using them all of the time.
“Wow, I can’t believe what i just learned about the psychopathic mind just now. I don’t know if I should thank you for showing me how the psychopathic mind works or hate you for trying to be a psychopath in the relationship. It’s so weird because I am understanding what people are doing it real time as they do it. You are concealing the fact that you changed the way you were in relationship with monkey. I am “calling the game”, Lynn. “Did you just conceal the fact that you changed the way you were in relationship with monkey?” (http://terminclature.wordpress.com/2014/01/05/calling-the-game/)
LLL: “I don’t want to answer that.”
Now in my system that I taught L, part of the praxis of the relationship I teach is that a rational relationship has to be transparent. If you don’t communicate rationally, you don’t think correctly and you won’t act correctly. What was so creepy was that L had obviously spent time crafting this argument. What is so interesting about the psychopathic mind is that it will spend time and energy creating ways of doing the wrong thing instead of spending that same time and energy just improving oneself. Of further interest is that she was trying at the same time to both absolve herself for hating monkey and create a reason for me to “owe” her for the suffering I had caused her by referring to her as a dog hater for a year.
I called L a dog hater because of her body language and demeanor towards Monkey. L is very territorial and very possessive of her territory. I had explained to L that my dog and my room mate were my family, the only family that I had in the world. They were part of a small group of people that had never screwed me over. Monkey was a way also in which I heal myself from my emotionally abusive childhood. Since they were my family I expected L, if she wanted to be part of my life to treat my family well. Monkey LOVED L and it was really because of Monkey and not because of L that she changed the way she was in relationship with Monkey.
What is so interesting to me is what this reveals about the psychopathic mind. L was trying very hard not to tell an overt lie, but when I pressed her on the issue she broke down and actually lied. This refusal of the psychopath to be falsified and to be honest with itself about itself.
I asked L once why she wasn’t using my techniques for self scrutiny, why she wasn’t using them for self transformation. My rational praxisism is really like an American version of Yoga. (and I ought to know because I am a yogi) I had created the theories and the processes to not only protect me from other people but to also keep me sane. There are no rewards for the ego. Observing the Praxis of the Rational is the reward. I had defined in great detail what a rational relationship was and I had communicated openly that it was the only kind of relationship I was open to. The interesting thing with L is that her ego couldn’t take it. She had to get away with something to feel that the rules didn’t apply to her. Her ego wouldn’t hold still and die.
I asked her why she wasn’t using my philosophy and psychology to apply to herself for soul growth, and why she was incapable of scrutinizing and disciplining herself. Her response was:
“With the whole world against me, why should I be against myself!”
Notice the comparison set. L is not comparing herself to anything inside the relationship, and I am not on her side. From this narrative we aren’t even in a relationship. I and the world are persecuting her which validates her strategic behavior and her defending herself in her error. On top of that it is a reason for her not to be mentally and emotionally healthy. It is a reason for her not to grow functionally in relationship. She is arguing against soul growth, and soul health. She is arguing for staying in relationship with her issues and defending her issues and her mental and emotional diseases.
This is so fascinating because the psychopathic mind clings to error, it identifies with error. When you show it that it was wrong, instead apologizing and correcting itself it defends itself and even attacks. It protects its disease.