Psychopaths conceal their true nature and the nature that they reveal is false, it is a facade, a manipulation. One of the things that has long bothered me is how in my relationships with women I can observe every process, instinct, and narrative that psychopaths have, because women act like psychopaths in relationship. Women are innate social climbers, if there are only two people in a relationship they will still try to socially climb. The processes that I have created for my relationships exist to protect myself from irrational, psychopathic people and relationships.
Women are enabled by society to be psychopathic in relationship because of the normative bias of society. So women show one face to society (investing in and protecting their public reputations) while at the same time destroying or slowly sabotaging the reputation of their men. Women are submissive to society and aggressive in relationship. Also they show to their men a different side of their personality. Men try to be pleasant in the relationship, not because they feel pleasant but because they want to enjoy themselves in life. Women however, shit all over relationship and show all of their ugliness and aggression in the relationship. They also intend, should the need arise, to leverage themselves in the relationship by allowing the judgments of people outside the relationship to take their own side.
I have been burned so many times by so many people that I no longer permanently make up my mind about people or completely trust them. There were many curious things about LLL when I first met her. She collected these relationships with semi-famous people. I remember how she told me about her obviously stalking this MMA star who had invited her on a date or something and then he didn’t show up or something and she proudly told me about how she kept on showing up and yelling at him and making scenes. It seemed to me that she sought out relationships with famous people because she felt a deep concealed lack of importance and she was trying to compensate for her feelings of unimportance by collecting these relationships. I should have been more concerned about her stalkyness, but I was going through deep depression because of my recent epiphany that relationship wasn’t really possible, at least not for me. I couldn’t be understood because I was too complicated, and so I couldn’t be properly evaluated. It didn’t matter that I was a genius, I was weird, people didn’t like quirkyness, unless it was hipster douchebaggery. I was like an idiot savant. I was on the edge, like Ludwig Wittgenstein or Nietzsche and that wasn’t cool anymore.
I let LLL into my life because I was bored with the understanding that I would teach her my theories on relationship. I communicated that ahead of time which is congruent with my theories for rational procedure. We didn’t jump into bed and I didn’t intend necessarily for the relationship to be sexual, she demanded it. Literally the next day she was describing the event as me burrowing into her to find her, I immediately disagreed with the description it sounded like she was trying to frame it as me chasing her, seducing her. That suggested that I wanted something from her and I had pursued her. It changes the nature of the relationship. One of the things that always bothered me about relationships is the inability of women to stay in relationship the same way without trying to change the nature of the relationship or their function in it. I disagreed with her rendition emphatically. She laughed her annoying Fran Drescher fake laugh. Which disturbed me because I was in no way joking.
I asked L once how many men she had slept with because I wanted to pick up her tells so I would know when she was lying and every woman lies when asked that question. She told me that she had 3 former husbands so she guessed that she had been with 3 men. When L was about to lie she would pause to long and then she would say, “Umm, Wull”. I started keeping track of her lies at that point. There had been an incident earlier in her life where she had gone to a psychologist to get her kids back (which had been taken from her by the government). The psychologist had said that she wasn’t evil but she had disassociation. Towards the end of the relationship I knew that L had manipulated the psychologist as she manipulated everybody else. It took me a while to understand but L could lie to herself and believe it. The emotions that she communicated were sincere, she was very good at eliciting sympathy from people. What she actually was is a Histrionic Psychopath, and she was importing her genuine emotions from the abandonment of her mother and all of the sadness she had as a little girl. L felt like a victim all of her life. She was in a constant state of feeling like a victim, and as Paul Eckman says, being in a permanent refractory state is synonymous with being insane.
Psychosis (from the Greek ψυχή “psyche”, for mind/soul, and -ωσις “-osis”, for abnormal condition or derangement) refers to an abnormal condition of the mind, and is a generic psychiatric term for a mental state often described as involving a “loss of contact withreality“. People suffering from psychosis are described as psychotic. ~wikipedia
L wasn’t in relationship with me, she wasn’t in relationship with reality, she was in relationship with the source of her power her feelings of victimization. That was what helped her make such extraordinarily believable tacit appeals to sympathy.
An appeal to pity (also called argumentum ad misericordiam or the Galileo argument) is a fallacy in which someone tries to win support for an argument or idea by exploiting his or her opponent’s feelings of pity or guilt. It is a specific kind of appeal to emotion.
L was interested in me because I had a little bit of internet notoriety. It was interesting watching her interact online, she was so careful and deliberate with what she said. I am sure that was how she behaved with her menagerie of semi-famous associates. It was at that time that I started playing with this concept of how the female mind is created to deal with children. Mothers have to manipulate the child’s mind. They inceive in it notions and make the child think that they came up with the idea themselves. Since Fritz Perls said “when a person wants to win they use whatever strategy they believe is dominant” it made sense that a woman would use her skills at manipulating children on people, like a Jedi mind trick.
L would tell me things that were only true in so far as the reaction they were designed to elicit from me. It was an enriched environment in which to observe psychopathic communication strategies and behaviors. At least I have that. Similarly with such feminine behaviors as whining and nagging these came from the mother/child relationship. I call it “jingling the keys” the woman attracts your attention to something, in this case she does so by repeating a topic over and over again. Then she communicates emotional data to you. Women talk about being objectified by men but when you manipulate a man you are essentially objectifying him. The other thing about the psychopath is that the psychopath can’t feel loved because they feel like they are manipulating everything so they are the cause of everything, even you love. The plan is to get you to do something that they want and think that it was your idea. ( http://finscribeofwisdom.blogspot.com/2013/04/passive-cause-vs-active-cause-by-joxua.html)
L had two narratives, the one that she used to manipulate me, and the closeted, concealed, narcissistic narrative that informed her actions, thoughts, and communication errors. It was amazing to me as I started using my theories that I had created, (shared state theory of communication and equity in human relationship theory) I was through the looking glass, I was detecting her lies in real time. She was totally transparent to me but she thought she had me fooled. I called her out so many times and she would tell me to my face she wasn’t doing exactly what she was doing. It was insane.
- A New Kind of Psychopath Pt. 2 (psykolinguist.wordpress.com)
- The most accurate psychopaths in cinema (mindhacks.com)
- Psychopathy On A Rampage (zengardner.com)
- Psychopath Envy (psykolinguist.wordpress.com)
- How to Spot a Psychopath (psychcentral.com)
- How I Was Inspired to Create EQUITY IN HUMAN RELATIONSHIP THEORY (trollfiles.wordpress.com)