A New Kind of Psychopath (Part 1)

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When I first met LLL I was very depressed, I was perhaps the most depressed I had been in my life up to that point.  I was frustrated with everything, I had just come to the conclusion that relationship was an illusion, at least for me.  I had finished fleshing out my theories on Relationship and Psychology, Shared state theory of communication and Equity in human relationship theory.  I had created the models studying troll behavior for years in online social media groups with some ultra-prolific posters on the internet known as “Trolls”.  If only rational relationship was relationship then relationship wasn’t possible for me, because nobody could remain rational in relationship with me.  This pattern had repeated itself over and over all through my life.  I behaved rationally towards other people and then they always screwed me over in some way shape or form.  This was at the point when I had hacked the human mind, when I realized that human beings were essentially organic computers and their behavior could be predicted, I saw the course of my future life, lonely, misunderstood, blamed for everything, people constantly being afraid of me and mistrusting me and then in their fear lashing out at me and society recriminating me for being some kind of Frankenstein like genius freak.  I felt more alone than I ever had in my life.  If I couldn’t be understood, I couldn’t be loved, because what was being loved wasn’t me in my suchness, it was something else, someone else.  In order to be understood somebody would have to be almost as smart as I was, they would have to have the same language of experience as I do (philosophy/psychology), and they would have to be interested in me and all my theories.

I hated the fact that people were only hooking up on computers and with twitter and dating sites and speed dating.  What happened to having good taste?  Why did people edit their consideration sets so that they only look for a mate or a partner at a night club?  Why couldn’t I meet a girl at the neighborhood coffee shop? (not Starbucks…)  And then I met her.  An Asian homeless guy that would try to have conversations with me and then always turn them around to his idol Warren Buffet or something, it was so predictable it was like having a conversation with a recording, after the 5th time it happened I learned my lesson.  Anyway he introduced me to LLL, she was loud, one of those people that spoke so that everybody could hear her.

LLL and I developed a relationship she was reading this book called Soulmates or something by Thomas Moore.  I told her that I had spent years studying relationship and that there was a type of relationship that I had pieced together from over 10 years of study and meditation.  It was a philosophical relationship a philoish.  It was the rational relationship of everything.  I had perfected it and I was ready to teach it.  She liked the idea and said she wanted to learn it and we would also teach it.  We started a philosophy group for it and a facebook page, We called the group Soulmates-Lovers of Wisdom-Perfecting the soul.  The relationship that I wanted to teach was about soul growth, Aristotle and Plato had this relationship, Rumi and Shams had this relationship, and Jesus had this relationship with some if not all of his disciples.  It was like a guru-chela relationship.

I had developed the theory of the relationship through my investigations and studying success and failure in relationship, I had found that there were recurring patterns in the way I was treated by people and events in my relationship, the only way I could succeed and be happy was in a rational relationship which seemed impossible in a world that was becoming increasingly irrational or psychopathic.  I had my doubts that the endeavor would succeed but I was willing to give it a try.

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