I am not familiar with what conventional psychology calls this phenomena or whether even it agrees with me. What I am interested in doing is describing a natural outcropping of shaming rituals used by parents to permanently influence a child’s personality. Our parents sometimes try to build these back doors into our psyche’s of course they do it because they think they know better and they think they have good intentions. They will give us an issue or a disease. For example they will repeat an invasive narrative that is loaded, such as, “a mother is a boys best friend.” So the mother cements and reifies that this relationship is a loving relationship, and then the mother spits her venomous issues about women and sex. Or, as in Hitler‘s case, his mother was probably hyper vigilante during his potty training phase so she shamed him by conflating him with filth and poop.
At this point a person tacitly has two choices, I can try to love my mother or parents, (in which case I will try to prove their issues correct) or I can individuate from my parents (assuming that they are capable of doing so if the individuation process wasn’t sabotaged during its natural stages).
My friend Tony and myself were both raised Jehovah’s Witness and we were shamed for sexual desires. Probably one of the most dangerous invasive narratives to try to slip into a child’s head. Tony and I having uncanny strength of character were able to leave our families, our lives, our friends, and start all over on our own. It was a good thing we did because sexual repression results in perverted expression. I was raised in a casual man hating environment where male sexual desires were considered dirty and wrong, more than that I was wrong for existing and being male.
If Tony and I hadn’t escaped and we had tried to prove our parents correct we would probably be closeted sexual freaks that were out their cock blocking every man and considering ourselves champions of sexlessness, and drones under the whim of every female that tells us what to do. You know, good Christian men….
- Shame, a Toxic Foundation (therapyplace.wordpress.com)
- 4 Reasons Why Slut Shaming Is So Damaging (biashacker.com)
- Shame and Sexuality (polysingleish.com)
- The necessary unpacking of slut shaming (marginaldialogue.blogspot.com)
- Why I don’t support Shaming…among other bad spiritual tactics. (pursuitofajoyfullife.wordpress.com)