Psychopaths presuppose that you will stay in the relationship. They try to manipulate your emotions while concealing their true intent, feelings, and thoughts. Once I realize that I am dealing with a psychopath, someone who is communicating strategically, someone not predisposed to relationship who is trying to get something from me or to force me to participate with them in some way, I take myself out of the equation. What does this mean? I put them in relationship with themselves, or the consequences they are creating. If someone is being passive aggressive or harassing I tell everyone at work and put them in relationship with their reputation. If a customer is stealing and getting away with it and they have become arrogant about it I put them in relationship with the fact that everybody hates them by letting everybody know what they are doing. So they can go around the store seeing the looks of contempt on everybody’s faces.
A rational person wants to express their frustration and anger to the irrational person, but the irrational person will just use every piece of information for their own benefit and against the person trying to have a relationship. Which means that the sooner you leave the relationship with the psychopath, making yourself emotionally unavailable and letting everybody know what they are doing the better off you are. Invite the scrutiny of the community on the individual before they piss you off and you retaliate or do something you regret. People don’t know what is going on, don’t assume that they do, all they will see is your emotional explosion which might be warranted but the passive aggressive, emotionally hostile, closeted psychopath is trying to provoke you for this reason. Smiling deviously to themselves as you try to relate to them as if they were an equal.
It requires a conscious switching from emotional reactions to analytical consciousness, and you have to become strategic. The psychopath will try to coax you back and as soon as they succeed they will attack again. Once a person has dealt with you in an underhanded sneaky way, do not give them the opportunity to do it again. If you continue the relationship after person has become irrational you are participating with the frame that they are forcing, you are granting them equity as a rational person. They want this. That is why they are concealing their narrative. Psychopaths are cowards, they never fight on a level playing field, they enter relationship expecting to get something from it and contribute nothing. They have a closeted narrative, they keep two sets of books, what they tell you they think and what they actually think, they never reveal their concealed and narcissistic narrative. If a person never tells you anything that makes himself look bad, if he tries to appeal normal and good from the perspective of the general populace and doesn’t disagree with or contend with the normative bias ever, you are probably dealing with a psychopath or a moron. The moron is easy to recognize but the psychopath is ambitious, driven. They are going places, upward places, and they are getting there by pushing other people down. Psychopaths are social climbers, over-coddled children that think they are better than everybody else so they try to get on top as quickly as possible.
You have to make your ego very small in order to put your emotions on the back burner. You have to put your instincts aside, but rest assured, the psychopath has a plan to use all of your reactions against you and to make you look like an imbecile. The sooner you realize that they are not rational the better for yourself. Psychopaths consider themselves very clever because they have learned how to be unnatural. When they realize they are beating up their own reflection they will stop attacking or attack in an even more closeted manner. Psychopaths don’t reform, they just become more manipulative.